It is officially February and it is the month of love! This month will consist of four weeks of articles about love, the good and bad. Love is something we can all relate to, whether we have experienced it directly yet or not. It’s a feeling that is unmatched. A feeling so powerful that anything can happen when two loved ones join together in harmony. But to get there, more likely than not, we had to experience some rough relationships before we get to the ones we truly love. But why is it that people let past relationships haunt them so much?
I believe that no matter how bad a past relationship was, it should never butcher the concept of love. It was simply a bad experience, but meant to bring you one step closer to finding true love. Bad relationships can be viewed simply as a scar on your skin: a scar will always be with you as it has become a part of you, but you can always look at it and laugh about how you got it. Laugh about bad times? Yeah, why not? You can laugh and joke about past bad relationships, the good and bad. But why would you want to recall bad times?
Well, those bad times are what helps you grow as an individual. Just like every other negative experiences in our lives, those are the moments in which we build our character, become stronger people, and discover exactly what we want next.
Before moving forward with knowing exactly what we want after bad relationships, it is important to point out that one must actually take the time to step back, be single for a period of time, and literally reflect on the relationship. If one nose dives into a new relationship too soon, he/she will end up in the same cycle over and over, simply hoping for a better chance at finding love. This will not work because you will likely date the same type of individual, with the end result being no different. Let’s be honest: most people rush back into relationships because of the fear of being alone or were too accustomed to always having somebody there for them. Understandable. But, certainly not wise. The only person who will suffer will be you because you will just keep losing faith in the all powerful feeling of love. So take this as a note that when you do get out of a bad relationship, take some time to be by yourself because it will benefit you greater than you think.
So, going back to discovering exactly what you want after a bad relationship is over. How does one discover this? Well, just taking the time to reflect and analyze what exactly happened. What were the characteristics of the other individual that you did not like? What did you two fight about the most? Were there certain traits of the other individual that may be “fun” in the moment but makes no sense to build a long-term relationship with? Did your goals align with one another? These are just a few examples of the types of questions you should ask yourself. Whatever your answers are and the more you ask yourself, the clearer you will see exactly what you want to find in your next relationship.
You mature and grow because you learn what you want because you do not want to waste time. As an added bonus, thinking this way also helps you avoid negative thoughts or feelings about the past. The past is the past and one needs to always move forward. No ill feelings, just positive growth! However, it may take several relationships for you to discover exactly the type of person you want to find, but won’t it be so worthwhile?
Don’t let past relationships haunt you so much. It happened for a reason: to help you find true love. So the next time somebody asks you what happened in your last relationship, instead of responding with, “Ugh, I don’t even want to talk about it”, answer with “It just didn’t work out but I learned tons from it and I know better what to look for in my next relationship.” Sounds better, and also puts you on the path towards the right direction.
So, cheers to bad past relationships! Thank you for helping us grow and moving us closer to finding true love!
