Expectations. We all have them. The reason why we have expectations is because we would just absolutely love it if everything went our way. Expect it and let it happen. Unfortunately, the real world does not work that way, especially in relationships. We all want to find that ideal person that fits us perfectly and meets all our expectations but that’s exactly what it is: ideal. In reality, very few of us actually get very close to it. Why? Well it’s kind of our own fault.
The reason is because we get so caught up in our own expectations that we don’t realize that what we may already have may actually be quite wonderful. Is it actually possible that our own expectations can blind us as to what is before us? Sure can, just recall all those fights you had with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you got mad at him/her. Then when things finally settled down and you got to talking, you realized you got mad because he/she didn’t meet your expectations, but in actuality did have sweet intentions in his/her actions.
The above occurs because you get so blinded with your own expectations that you fail to see that everybody has their own way of being thoughtful and understanding. It won’t and shouldn’t be just your way. You will get disappointed time and time again. In addition, who knows how many arguments it’ll add up to! And we all know those are never fun.
All it takes is a little bit of tweaking in the way we think to fully live and experience better relationships. We all know that relationships take a lot of work, but this is one hurdle that if you and your significant other can get over, then you can save a lot of stress and arguments. So yes, it is normal to have expectations. Some are reasonable, some are not. But it will always seem reasonable to you, at the moment. Nonetheless, you won’t find out whether your expectations were reasonable or not until later on. So learn to take a step back, calm yourself in any situations in which your expectations were not met, and take a breather. Ask yourself the following questions:
1) “Was there a reason as to why my expectations were not met? Perhaps I was expecting my significant other to be a mind reader, and unfortunately he/she is not?”
2) You tell yourself that you would have acted a certain way in a particular situation, but your significant other did not, so that is why you’re disappointed. However, you should ask yourself “Were my expectations not met because my significant other has other ways to show me that he/she cares versus the way that I expected? Were his/her intentions actually right, but I just didn’t like it because it wasn’t my way?”
3) Finally, ask yourself, “Were my expectations even reasonable?”
Imagine the significant amount of headaches you’ll save you and your significant other if you actually took the time to learn about each other. That is the only way that loving relationships last for a lifetime. Instead of being blinded by your own expectations, learn how your significant other acts and reacts. Learn how your significant other takes care of you and shows you affection, besides the obvious signs like hugging and kissing you. Go deeper into your significant other’s heart. Understand his/her true intentions and use that as your gauge to determine what is worth stressing and fighting over. Most things are not actually worth it. Many potentially great relationships end before it even begins because of our own personal expectations.
Relationships require a lot of team work. Two person team. Not just your own expectations. So learn to work together. Think together. Realize together. Observe and act together to be … HAPPY TOGETHER.
