Be The Change You Wish To See In The World

The Tree Of Life

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 10:00:05 -0400

LIFE. The best depiction of life is by looking at a tree. A strong foundation with numerous hanging branches and leaves. Some of the branches flourish more than others and the longer it is around, the thicker the branch becomes. Then there are other branches that wither and eventually fall off.

The strong foundation of a tree represents who we are. Our core selves. Our morals, thoughts, and feelings. This is the aspect of our lives that we need to work on the most. It will essentially decide where we “branch” off into in our lives. A strong foundation requires you to love yourself for who you are (not in a narcissistic way, but one of confidence and self-actualization). Your strong foundation leads your thoughts which results in the actions you take in your life. And while this should be the most fundamental aspect we should concentrate on, people seem to overlook it.

We go about our daily lives without being conscious about who and what we are. We act on impulses and instant gratification. This leads to trouble and at worst, uncontrollable actions. Why is it that so many people are unhappy? It is because we don’t work enough on our own foundations. Our core values determines our lives! Every single aspect of our lives! We must be constantly aware of self-improvement to better ourselves. To build a strong foundation to guide the rest of our lives.

Once a strong foundation is set, then the branches of life starts to take its course. On some branches, you’ll be very happy with yourself. Keep building these up and ensure these branches remain strong and flourishing. These branches are there to remind you of the goodness that you should appreciate in your life. The times and memories that makes your life wonderful.

But, there’s also guaranteed to be obstacles in your life and you will fail at times. These are your weak branches: thin and frail. You will be defeated sometimes. Life will get hard. If you keep these branches, then they only weaken you. Don’t dwell on it - it surely doesn’t help you. Let these weak branches go. Let those break off and fall onto the ground. Once you’re able to do so, fill that empty space with something fresh, new, and alive!

The tree of life. You determine how beautiful it is to look at.

Are You Chasing Something Worthwhile?

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 10:00:06 -0400

Take a moment and sit with me. Relax. It’s time to reflect on your life. Think about what your short and long term goals are. Now think about what you do on a daily basis. What’s your daily life consist of? Are you happy? Or are you sad? Are you just okay?

If you’re truly happy, great :D

If you’re anything less, why? Is it because you’re not living the life you envisioned for yourself? Are your priorities out of order?

Read below:

Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered, “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

True?

Absolutely.

No matter how old you are, do you feel as if you’re truly “LIVING”? You should feel like you’re making your life worthwhile, not just letting it pass you by. Don’t be a bystander to your own life. Live like life actually means something. Because it should. It is a gift to you - don’t be reckless with it!

The Dalai Lama states that we work our health (and life) away for money. We have become a world that is so concentrated on money, status, and materialism. Why have we enslaved ourselves to such a vicious cycle? Will money still make you happy when your health is poor? And no, money will not always make you healthy again. It can only help so much, until your luck runs out.

If you’re not a bajillionaire, you may believe that money will make you happy. But once you become a bajillionaire, you will see that it does not.

Jim Carrey said it best:

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.”

If you’re going to chase riches, be rich in your mind, heart, and soul. Enrich your life with simplicity and knowledge. You will see that once you’re rich in these aspects, you will truly feel lucky and happy.

If you’re going to chase money, do it for the right reasons. Money is just the byproduct. In actuality, you’re chasing something different. You’re chasing freedom. You’re chasing the ability to give a new life to your family. You’re chasing the potential to help millions of people. You’re chasing the chance to change the world.

Whatever you’re chasing in life, make it good. Make it count. So what are you chasing?

While you’re re-analyzing your life, check out this pretty cool video to help get you going:

www.thedashmovie.com

Your Perceptions Determines Your Own Reality

Wed, 29 Jun 2011 10:01:06 -0400

What we determine to be the realities of our life is actually how we choose to perceive it. How we perceive our own actions may be completely different than how somebody else may interpret the same exact actions. Your intentions may be good, but there can always be somebody who may take it the wrong way.

The spark to this article came about when I recently saw a man holding his significant other’s handbag. No, she wasn’t going to the restroom and he just had to hold it real quick. They were just simply walking down the street and he had the handbag over his shoulder. For all those guys out there that are like me, you’re thinking, “What?! He voluntarily was holding the handbag for her?!” And yes, he sure was.

So let’s analyze this. I, as an American born male, naturally thinks that this is odd. It’s not “manly”. It’s one of those moments where if you get caught doing it, you think to yourself “Quick…do something manly! ::rips out chest hair:: ” It’s just a part of our culture. Our reality states that the perception of this, is one that will warrant looks from strangers and will embarrass us.

Now, what’s the perception of the man that is holding his significant other’s bag? Well, in his culture (which I dug a little to find out), it’s perfectly normal. So if they were in their country of origin, they would not get looks from strangers. So that makes me wonder…

In their country, would the guys who aren’t holding their significant other’s handbags considered unchivalrous? Interesting isn’t it?

So the perception in America of a man holding a handbag is one of a negative one. That’s the reality that most of us have grown up on. Our reality states that it is not manly, so don’t do it. Now, the perception of the man who is holding his significant other’s handbag is one of chivalry. He probably thinks “I want to make it as easy for her as possible so I want to carry her handbag to take that load off for her.” That’s where I would just say, “Well then honey, just don’t bring a handbag!” Ha, I’m kidding, but not really…

But anyways, the point of this article is to have you, as the readers, open up and accept different people and/or cultures. Just because your perception creates your own reality, it doesn’t mean it’s the same for all those around you. If you able to keep this open-mindedness as you go throughout your days, you’d learn to be much more accepting in your life. Heck, you would even learn a whole bunch about human nature just by observing and accepting rather than staring and judging.

So if there can be so many perceptions of every single action you perform, whose perception should you actually be concerned about?

Clearly, your own.

It may be hard to at times, but you should always act on what, who, and how you want to perceive yourself as, not others. If you do this, life will be much simpler and you will absolutely be happier. Why? Because of the simple fact that you have rid of the giant burden of what others think of you. You’ve rid of the burden of trying to create an image that others will have of you.

Create an image of yourself where you will respect yourself for. If need be, re-create over and over until you love your perception of your own reality.

Keep Your Thoughts to Yourself...To Save Yourself

Tue, 07 Jun 2011 10:01:06 -0400

What the heck does that even mean? How do you save yourself by keeping your thoughts to yourself?

Let’s start off with some questions:

What is one of the first things you do when you get angry or annoyed at a situation? Do you call or text your friends to vent? Do you get your closest friends together and update them all at once?

What happens then? Of course since they’re your closest friends, they’re more likely than not going to back you up and tell you that you’re right. You feel good after venting, but now whenever there’s an update, the subject is brought up again. What comes with it is just more negative feelings resurfacing constantly. Now your thoughts are easily distracted and consumed with this negativity.

Is this not true? When we’re in a crummy part of our life, all we do is vent about it. It’s all we want to do. We do it because we like the support that comes with it.

For example, when you hate your job and you’re absolutely miserable waking up to it every day, your friends and family all know it because it’s plastered all over - from your conversations to your social status updates. It consumes your thoughts and guess what? It only makes your days worse.

The situation can be anything: trouble with friends, a bumpy relationship, etc. When you present your current negative points of life to the masses, you might actually get more bad than good. You may get temporary support when you vent, but man oh man do your days stink because it’s all you think about. It makes your days worse because even when you’re finally not thinking about it, you’ve told so many people that the topic will be brought up again. Boom, there comes negativity knocking on your door once again.

This is why I’m a big advocate of keeping the hardships of life to oneself. It is okay to vent once in a while, but when you’re constantly venting, well, you’re actually just complaining all the time. When you do this to yourself, you’re going to drive your mind insane. You won’t be able to take your mind off it and it’ll consume your day. Let me rephrase: negative thoughts will consume your day. That is certainly no way to live out our lives.

It is very difficult to keep our own situations to ourselves, I understand. It’s on your mind so you can help but just blurt it out. But in doing so, you’re not doing yourself any justice because you’re escalating the situation worse…for yourself. Our minds have a way of making the SAME situation even worse, just by thinking too much about it. We start to over-analyze and create scenarios in our minds. We ask “how come” and “what if” questions. It ruins our moods. It ruins our days. Why let it?

So by learning to keep complaints to yourself, you learn incredible self-control on how to handle your mind and thoughts. You learn that no matter how much you may vent to others and think it’ll make you feel better, you actually may not because ultimately, it’s up to yourself and the way you think about it to feel better.

So give it a try. Whatever your situation is, from hating your job to relationship problems, try to keep it to yourself and learn to work through it within yourself. You’ll only come out stronger. Then you’ll quickly start to realize what actions you should take to get out of your negative situation, but that’s a whole topic on its own :)

Good luck!

Abundance

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 17:00:00 -0400

By Diane Lang

As I sit outside in my backyard on this lazy June day, I become mindful of everything around me. I realize all that I have is with me right here and now. I realize that on days when the glass seems half empty I should realize how full it is by pouring in some gratitude and appreciation for all I have. So, I sat still for about fifteen minutes and soaked in all that life has to offer and surprisingly it was all free of charge. This list is just a reminder of all the abundance we have in our lives at any moment. This is a reminder to live in the here and now. We are happiest when we live in the moment.

Abundance List:

The clear sky with it’s bright blue coloring
The sun shining
The warmth that I felt on my skin on this sunny beautiful day
The breeze that cooled me off
The green grass that feels cool on my feet
The beautiful surroundings that make me smile every time I look around me
A sense of higher power – looking around at all this beauty there has to be something bigger then us
My adorable 12 year old golden retriever who doesn’t seem to realize he is aging while he nudges me with his ball. This scenario always causes me to smile.
The local libraries that offer me free books, movies and magazines which I took advantage of on this beautiful, lazy day
The ability to read my books and use my creativity & imagination to a get a full view of the characters and the story I’m reading. There is nothing like visualizing!
The freedom to choose what I want to do with my time and my life. I’m lucky to have the freedom to take the day off and enjoy it the way I please.
The ability to change my perspective at any time. I have the ability to see the glass half full or empty – I choose full!
The ability to laugh and smile which is contagious so pass it on. Smiling and laughing gives us an instant boost of happiness and reduce our stress.

Send me your abundance list at lifeline36@aol.com The best part is writing the list. As you write the list, you will be in a moment of gratitude and appreciation, you will feel a boost of happiness.

Upcoming workshops: Tuesday, June 7 at 11am - Letting go of Anger YMCA of Burlington County at the Women’s Opportunity Center 856-234-6200 ext 224 Tuesday, June 7 at 6:30pm- Create Balance & relieve anxiety Warren Community College, NJ 908-689-7613 Tuesday, June 14 6:30pm - Happiness - Living an optimistic lifestyle Warren Community College, NJ 908-689-7613 Thursday, June 16 7pm - Free workshop - Letting go of Anger Stony Point Library, Rockland County, NY 845-786-2100 Thursday, June 23 7pm - Happiness - living an optimistic lifestyle Mystical World, Lyndhurst, NJ 201-896-3999

For more information on Diane Lang visit her website: www.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at lifeline36@aol.com

Choose Your Words Carefully - They Carry More Power Than You...

Mon, 02 May 2011 10:00:06 -0400

Choose Your Words Carefully - They Carry More Power Than You Think

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”

Or can they. They sure can. The words we use have so much power behind them, that without realizing the consequences (positive or negative), we may be losing out on the bigger picture. How we word our sentences determines reactions. It also determines how we are perceived as individuals.

Words can be used for good. Or words can be used to hurt others. When we trash talk others, whether it is in front of the person or not, it is still mean and hurtful. But we tend to do it a lot. Especially trash talking others behind their back. And while it can be justified as “venting” about others to feel better, ask yourself whether you would ever say it in front of the person when you can actually see their feelings get hurt. To watch their facial expression transform to sadness. Then would you still say the same things? Likely not.

While we all hope that people don’t trash talk us, why do we ourselves do it so often? We tell ourselves, “he/she will never find out what I’m saying.” Perhaps not, but does that justify our words? Does that make it okay to be mean? Usually when we feel angry and want to vent about others, we trash talk instinctively. What if we were to take a few steps back and wait to calm down. Wouldn’t it be that much easier to bite our tongue then? We can still vent about a situation, but cutting back on cruel words can make all the difference.

When we say mean things about others, we don’t realize how harsh it actually sounds. The trigger for this article that happened for me was when I was listening to strangers say mean things about their “friends”. The words used were just so superficial. Trash talking sessions between friends really aren’t a necessary part of bonding. It actually becomes a bad habit. When the same group of friends come together and a name pops up, there will automatically be a switch to turn on the hate. What’s worse is that if there’s a person who does not know the victim, and one day actually meets him/her, judgment has already been passed. The victim had no chance from the beginning. Ouch.

This also gives us such a limited view on life’s experiences. A person who is hated on constantly will never be given a second chance. It closes off your own heart to any and all of their possibly good intentions. Whether you’re right or wrong about the individual does not matter. Let others have the chance to see for themselves. We can reserve our own comments and learn to be better people by not getting caught up in trash talk. Don’t get absorbed into group-think. Instead, be the person who influences the group to move on with the subject. Say it however you want, but the more you’re able to stop the group, and especially yourself, on ranting mean comments about others, the less likely trash talk will be the subject of conversation.

Words are so powerful. So powerful that we don’t even realize it sometimes. It is literally a constant part of our daily lives. So let’s make a pact to ourselves. Cut down on the trash talk. Make the world a friendlier place. Perhaps the ripple effect of such behavior can go much further than we can even imagine.

Imperfections Produce Humility

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 10:01:00 -0400

We seem to live in a society that likes to nit-pick at one’s imperfections. Look around and see how critical the world is. Listen to the harsh words that are said by everyone around you, as well as the media. It is quite a mean playground we live in. But why should imperfections be a bad thing? And how often are they truly “imperfections”?

Who determines your imperfections? Society? It would seem so because society has so many standards, but one should never live by the absolutely imperfect standards that have been set by society. It is a battle you’ll rarely win. Just be YOU. How you feel, how you react to situations, how you look, what goals you have in life etc…do what feels like YOU. Do not let society dictate what you should mold into because it’s the “standard.”

And are character imperfections so bad? At the surface, it would appear so. However, think about the good that imperfections can actually produce. One great result of an “imperfection” is humility. If YOU see one of your characteristics as an imperfection, you surely won’t brag about it! And always remember this: do not let that “imperfection” bring you down. Instead, see it as a way to keep yourself accountable. It’s just another crack in the road we call life that we, ourselves, can decide if we would like to fix it or not.

Bragging is never an attractive feature, no matter how much one has accomplished. You gain friends and keep friends by being humble. Very often, you will not get very good reactions from being a show-off. People will either tune you out, think that or may even feel completely jealous about you. What satisfaction does one actually get out of all that? One may try to speak a lot about one’s accomplishments for the purpose of gaining adoration, but the complete opposite may actually occur. If you’re well accomplished or you have something that you’re proud of, it’ll speak for itself. There’s no need to force the world to know it. This is humility. And if you think about it, you will actually have a much more powerful effect if you are well accomplished yet humble, because you will gain the respect of your peers. Why? Primarily because you do not put yourself above them but keep it at a equal level.

“Imperfections” you believe you have keep you from bragging. It shows you that no matter how “perfect” other characteristics you have may be, there’s still work to be done. Our human life is always a work in progress. When you work through an “imperfection”, remember the process and really absorb it. It’ll keep you feeling level, as you’ll appreciate the transition you’ve made.

So no matter what your looks are, whatever character “flaws” you have, and however much you may feel like you do not conform with society, remember that the good and “bad” of your personalities is what makes up YOU. That is what makes you special and unique from everyone else. And if YOU decide to work on traits that YOU believe are “imperfections”, remember the journey of personal improvement because it’ll help you keep up your humility!

Strive to be the best YOU Possible!

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 10:00:06 -0400

I always emphasize on the importance of self-improvement in one’s life because there is absolute truth that being satisfied in who you are as a person is one of the biggest attributable factors to one’s personal happiness. We owe it to ourselves to be the greatest at who and what we are. That’s not to say that we have to be the BEST overall; it’s not a competition between you and others. Essentially, it’s a personal growth test: it is you versus you. You strive to be the best…the best YOU possible.

And that may sound like one should strive for perfection. But isn’t striving for perfection near impossible? What is perceived as perfect to one, may be considered an absolute disaster to another. Borrowing (and slightly altering) an age old idiom works well in this case: “Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.” So if we are to strive for perfection, aren’t we working towards that goal for somebody else? For the beholder? Why are we doing that when it’s a journey for our own personal growth?

Remember your reasons for pursuing a journey of personal growth. It’s for you. For you to be happy and satisfied with who you are. It’s for you to go about your daily life and be enthusiastic about it each and every day. To feel ALIVE, because when you are truly happy, you will feel very much alive. And while you do work on personal growth for yourself, the extra bonus is that you will positively influence all of those around you, whether directly or indirectly. By teaching what you’ve learned in your personal growth journey to them, others will have you as an example as to how they want to feel in their lives as well. Indirectly, you can simply make somebody’s day better just by them encountering you. How? Have you had those moments in your life when a complete stranger showed genuine kindness and happiness in public to others and you thought to yourself, “Wow, that was refreshing to see/hear.”

You can be that person. Be refreshing simply by being the BEST YOU possible.

Who do you want to be? Go out and develop into that person.

What do you want to do with your life? Have the courage to break out of the norm and do whatever you want.

How do you get there? By starting today and being aware of where you want to be in your life!

Be the change you want to see in the world Would you consider...

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 10:00:08 -0400

Be the change you want to see in the world

Would you consider yourself selfless? If you do, that’s wonderful because there needs to be a greater sense of selflessness in our world nowadays. Our world has become a selfish society in which we primarily look out for our own needs. It’s a dog eat dog world. But I don’t blame people for being that way. Society has shaped our behavior to be this way. How? Some examples I’ve heard throughout my lifetime:

A person falls down on his/her fault and a stranger comes to help the fallen individual. The fallen individual ends up claiming that the stranger pushed him/her and sues for damages.

A manager at work screws up. Well, he/she doesn’t want to take the fall, let’s just blame it on somebody below him/her.

The above are selfish (and absurd) actions that real life people take. It’s easier to put the blame on a scapegoat than to place the hit on oneself. So essentially that’s why people, in turn, become selfish as well.

“If somebody doesn’t look out for me, why should I do it for someone else?”

“I wouldn’t get anything out of helping this person out.”

“I wouldn’t get recognition for my actions, so why waste my efforts?”

No selfless act is a waste of effort. Every selfless act, whether actually commended or not, is an action that will drive the world to be a better place. Wouldn’t you want to live in a better world? Why wouldn’t you? You live in it every day! And while you may be thinking that your selfless acts won’t change the world, you’d be surprised. Your selfless act can touch another person’s life. This can become a continuous chain that can reach any and all parts of the world. You may not ever know it, but it can all start from you. And you know what, it will eventually make its way right back to you.

Don’t live your life based on what society has forced upon you. Move with the good, but rebel against the bad. Selfishness is bad. So if you think the world is a cruel dark place, make it bright and happy. Don’t join the crowd. Lead your own crowd! If the world is a mean arena, stand out from everyone else and be the opposite.

Ghandi said it best: “Be the change you want to see in the world.”

Do you want to change the world? In a positive way? Then become that change and see the amazing things that will happen.

The best story on selflessness that I have ever heard is about Sir Nicholas Winton. He was a man who saved 669 children from the Nazi concentration camps and never told a single person, even his own wife, for 50 years! This is truly a man who did not need the recognition for his unbelievably selfless feat. What an incredible story to tell! Yet Nicholas Winton was able to hold it all in. He did not need the recognition. He just knew that what he did was the right thing and that’s all that mattered. It wasn’t until his wife discovered a book that contained the names of all the children he saved and convinced him to go public with his story that his heroic feats came to light. You can read more about him here: http://www.winton.dk/

And the above video is when Winton met with the people that he saved for the first time. This is a classic example of how selfless acts will always come back to thank you, even if it is 50 years later!

Set an example in the world. Any small feat counts. Start today :)

I’m not affiliated with the American Red Cross, but I do believe that no effort is considered small when it is to help others, so please, if you can, donate to help out the Red Cross in its Earthquake/Tsunami relief in Japan. Spread the word to your friends and family. I’ve provided the link straight to the donation page below for your convenience. Thank you all.

American Red Cross - Japan’s Earthquake & Tsunami Relief

Always Evolve Yourself - Stay Dynamic!

Tue, 08 Mar 2011 10:00:07 -0500

Meet “Freak-out” Fred:

“I can’t believe this didn’t go according to plan. I had the next few years of my life mapped out. I’m freakin’ out!”

And meet “Stagnant” Sally:

“I’ve had the same expertise ever since I graduated from college. I was doing really well in my field until the need started to become obsolete. My skills weren’t needed anymore and I never learned anything else. How am I going to survive?!”

We all know a Freak-out Fred or Stagnant Sally. These are the individuals that have a set plan for their life and when things steer off course, all hell breaks loose. They think that doom is impending. Heck, Fred or Sally may even be YOU!

If you have a hard time adjusting to change, whether it involves friends, family, your career etc, then you’re going to have endless bumps on your journey through life. Life’s obstacles will be that much harder for you. Every time a big negative life event happens in your life, it’s going to feel like a boulder hit you. And while you will eventually get over it (because time really does help) wouldn’t you rather be the individual that overcomes the negative almost immediately?

Meet “Dynamic” Dan:

“Wow I can’t believe that incredible business idea didn’t work out. I really thought that was going to be my big break. Oh well, time to move on to my next big idea, I need to achieve my goals!”

And meet “Evolving” Erin:

“I just got into a big fight with my two best friends and they’ve decided to never talk to me again. I have to find a new group of friends and everything. It’s going to be rough, but maybe it’ll be good for me to meet new people. It’d be pretty exciting actually!”

If you’re like Dynamic Dan or Evolving Erin, then an obstacle in life won’t feel like a boulder hit you, but more like a pebble. It’ll surely hurt, but you certainly won’t be down and out from it. Just a quick sting and you keep on walking forward! Apply that to all aspects of your life and you’ll be able to get through anything. We all need to understand that bad stuff happens in life, no matter how good or bad of a person you are.

Quite simply, it’s just life. But what fun would life be if everything was the same and never changing? We’d be going through the same monotonous routines and never getting wiser. We could read or hear bad experiences through others, but that isn’t the same as going through it and feeling it. To feel it, live it, and experience struggles is to set the foundations of becoming a stronger and wiser person. It’s needed to grow. To mature. To pass on your knowledge to those around you. To make yourself happier.

Understand that you have to be ever-changing. Evolve yourself. Be dynamic. Take on every bad (and good) that life throws at you. Make aware that what your life is today can completely change tomorrow. And while there’s no real way to fully prepare for the worse, you can always equip yourself with your own arsenal. Have a strong mind that can overcome anything. Build a strong exterior to shield yourself from the bad the world will throw at you. Develop the confidence in your abilities to jump through the high hurdles in life.

Finally, smile and walk with your head held high showing the world that nothing and nobody can touch your bad ass dynamic self!

Don't Let Negativity Rain On Your Relationship's Happiness

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 10:00:07 -0500

As with most aspects of our lives, it is easy to let the negatives of any situation overwhelm the positives. The negatives stick out the most in our minds and it is hard to let go of it. Once it settles in, the only way we feel like we could feel better is by just letting it all out. Purging your emotions and feelings unto others. However, by letting the negatives overshadow the positives, you’re setting yourself up in all the wrong ways, especially in romantic relationships.

The concentration of the positives versus the negatives, it seems, is highly prevalent in relationships. Isn’t it incredible how we could be in such great relationships, but once something bad happens, such as a huge argument or misunderstanding, we forget all the good times and concentrate on the negatives. We have a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes even doubt the future of the relationship. That is how powerful of an impact a negative emotion can have on us. It can consume us. But what if we were to do the exact opposite in relationships, and allow the positives to consume us? Then relationships, and the world for that matter, will look completely different.

When we’re in relationships, it is the positive qualities that has attracted us to the individual. It is what makes us think about them all day during the pursuit and early in the relationship. However, as the couple begins to get to know each other better, negatives start to arise. But there is a difference between actual negatives versus pseudo negatives. Actual negatives are characteristics such as unfaithfulness, constant lying, and demoralizing you. These are actual negatives and if you’re in those kind of relationships, do yourself a favor and find yourself somebody more worth your time and effort. You’ll be happier.

However, pseudo negatives are those in which start to show up simply because no two people ever operate the same. They’re not really negative characteristics, but just quirks of the individual. For example, take this scenario: a couple moves in together. The guy always leaves his sock hanging on the side of the laundry basket because he plans to wear it again the same day (it’s true, it may be gross but we’re just trying not waste more than a pair for the day! Ha!). The girl always gets agitated because it is gross or would like the socks IN the laundry basket, not hanging on it. It’s silly, but I’ve heard several couples talk about it. Is it surprising that couples can actually get into a fight over this? With a bad day, wrong timing, or long term build up, yeah sure, a fight can surely happen!

Can’t one just laugh about a person’s “negative”? Is it actually a negative, or a pseudo negative? We all have quirks. So do you. Learn the love and laugh about the quirks instead of seeing it as a bunch of negatives that you can’t “handle” in the long run. See the pseudo negative as a positive. How?

“My boyfriend keeps hanging his socks over the laundry basket, so gross…but kind of silly!”

“My girlfriend is the worst cook and I always have to pretend to like it. But she tries and I appreciate it!” (To my gf: that wasn’t directed towards you, I promise! Ha :P )

Lighten up. Pseudo negatives are quirks that make your man or woman special, unique and fun. Enjoy and remember the positives. Appreciate the “negatives”. Know the difference between actual and pseudo negatives. Life is too short and you should appreciate and enjoy all the goodness it has to offer! A lot of it comes from being in a loving relationship with the right mentality!

So cheers to the power of thinking positively in relationships. Enjoy your present moments together. In doing so, it makes it easier to build a future together.

Happy Valentine's Day...Now Let Go Of That Bad Pride!

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 10:00:07 -0500

Pride is a natural characteristic we all have. We need to have some sense of pride in order to know who we are and what we are proud of. Our pride is a part of our identity in which it helps to shape our values and show others our views on the world. However, when do we reach a negative aspect of pride? We’ve all heard the phrase “don’t let pride get in the way” and for good reason.

This week, we will concentrate on the negative consequences of pride in romantic relationships. Actually, I should say “romantic”, because having too much pride or using it at the wrong moments can truly make any relationship highly unromantic! It is a true fact that having arguments in relationships is normal and healthy, however, it certainly is not a good idea to keep an argument going merely because one or the other refuses to let their pride down. By not letting your pride down, it will almost always escalate the situation and you’ll find yourself saying things you don’t actually mean. What’s the sense in making a situation worse? Think about it. If you keep an argument going just because you want to “win”, do you really WIN? Situations get escalated, more stress is created, and you would’ve been better off winning by not letting your pride get the better of you.

The following scenario is one that happens in many relationships and is a great example of not letting the negative side of pride get in the way of your relationship’s happiness: the girlfriend gets mad at the boyfriend for whatever reason. The girlfriend starts to yell at the boyfriend. Boyfriend holds his tongue for a short period of time, but eventually can’t take the yelling anymore. He yells back. Tempers rise. No fun.

Many lessons to be learned from that scenario for the ladies and gentlemen! Ladies: guys do not like to be yelled at. It bruises our male ego and our natural reaction is to protect our dignity. Our pride is strong so if you’re going to yell, keep it short, for the benefit of yourself and your man. Ladies, you just need to get your point across and it won’t work by yelling. Likewise, for the gentlemen, hold your tongue! Try to remain calm and do not let your pride get the better of you. You don’t want to say things that you don’t mean. At all times, you must keep in mind that you should respect the woman you’re with and that you retaliating just to “win” the argument leaves you on the uncomfortable sunken couch! Your pride is strong, but you’re not more of a man just because you beat your girl in a war of words. Sometimes, being a man actually means keeping your pride in check, just staying quiet and biting your tongue because you know your relationship is not worth losing.

For both the ladies and gentlemen, the biggest lesson to be learned is that nothing is settled by yelling at each other. Both individuals in a relationship need to keep their prides in check and communicate effectively to each other. There is a major difference between standing your ground rationally and effectively versus standing your ground by backlashing. Learn to speak to each other in a civilized calm manner and you’ll be amazed by how much your relationship can grow. After all, if he/she is the one you want to be with, isn’t your personal pride a good thing to keep in check to help the longivity of your romantic relationship?

Then you’ll win. So will your significant other. And with enough practice with each other, you’ll be one step closer to living a happily ever after.

And in conclusion, for the occasion of Valentine’s Day, below is a reminder of how much you should cherish your loved ones. Remember, showing affection for your loved ones goes a long way so don’t miss a day of it :)

Love is the emotion that we all seek. The reason is because it brings upon an unlimited array of possibilities. What people may deem impossible, two people in love with the support of one another will say otherwise. With love, imaginations and dreams come to life. It’s an experience for a life time and true love comes unmatched. True love comes with the empowerment of the best feelings of the world.

Happiness to have found your other half.

Courage to take on any obstacle.

Amazement at the achievements you can accomplish together.

Peace of mind to know you have an unconditional support system.

You will both continue to discover all the best feelings that life has to offer as you embark on the loving life together. Always remember your love for one another. Cherish your past as that is what brought you together. Embrace the present and enjoy every minute you have with one another. Believe in the future and watch as your love grows into everything you have ever imagined.

Don't Be Blinded By Your Own Expectations

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 10:00:00 -0500

Expectations. We all have them. The reason why we have expectations is because we would just absolutely love it if everything went our way. Expect it and let it happen. Unfortunately, the real world does not work that way, especially in relationships. We all want to find that ideal person that fits us perfectly and meets all our expectations but that’s exactly what it is: ideal. In reality, very few of us actually get very close to it. Why? Well it’s kind of our own fault.

The reason is because we get so caught up in our own expectations that we don’t realize that what we may already have may actually be quite wonderful. Is it actually possible that our own expectations can blind us as to what is before us? Sure can, just recall all those fights you had with your boyfriend/girlfriend because you got mad at him/her. Then when things finally settled down and you got to talking, you realized you got mad because he/she didn’t meet your expectations, but in actuality did have sweet intentions in his/her actions.

The above occurs because you get so blinded with your own expectations that you fail to see that everybody has their own way of being thoughtful and understanding. It won’t and shouldn’t be just your way. You will get disappointed time and time again. In addition, who knows how many arguments it’ll add up to! And we all know those are never fun.

All it takes is a little bit of tweaking in the way we think to fully live and experience better relationships. We all know that relationships take a lot of work, but this is one hurdle that if you and your significant other can get over, then you can save a lot of stress and arguments. So yes, it is normal to have expectations. Some are reasonable, some are not. But it will always seem reasonable to you, at the moment. Nonetheless, you won’t find out whether your expectations were reasonable or not until later on. So learn to take a step back, calm yourself in any situations in which your expectations were not met, and take a breather. Ask yourself the following questions:

1) “Was there a reason as to why my expectations were not met? Perhaps I was expecting my significant other to be a mind reader, and unfortunately he/she is not?”

2) You tell yourself that you would have acted a certain way in a particular situation, but your significant other did not, so that is why you’re disappointed. However, you should ask yourself “Were my expectations not met because my significant other has other ways to show me that he/she cares versus the way that I expected? Were his/her intentions actually right, but I just didn’t like it because it wasn’t my way?”

3) Finally, ask yourself, “Were my expectations even reasonable?”

Imagine the significant amount of headaches you’ll save you and your significant other if you actually took the time to learn about each other. That is the only way that loving relationships last for a lifetime. Instead of being blinded by your own expectations, learn how your significant other acts and reacts. Learn how your significant other takes care of you and shows you affection, besides the obvious signs like hugging and kissing you. Go deeper into your significant other’s heart. Understand his/her true intentions and use that as your gauge to determine what is worth stressing and fighting over. Most things are not actually worth it. Many potentially great relationships end before it even begins because of our own personal expectations.

Relationships require a lot of team work. Two person team. Not just your own expectations. So learn to work together. Think together. Realize together. Observe and act together to be … HAPPY TOGETHER.

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Past Relationships Can Help You Find True Love

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 10:00:00 -0500

It is officially February and it is the month of love! This month will consist of four weeks of articles about love, the good and bad. Love is something we can all relate to, whether we have experienced it directly yet or not. It’s a feeling that is unmatched. A feeling so powerful that anything can happen when two loved ones join together in harmony. But to get there, more likely than not, we had to experience some rough relationships before we get to the ones we truly love. But why is it that people let past relationships haunt them so much?

I believe that no matter how bad a past relationship was, it should never butcher the concept of love. It was simply a bad experience, but meant to bring you one step closer to finding true love. Bad relationships can be viewed simply as a scar on your skin: a scar will always be with you as it has become a part of you, but you can always look at it and laugh about how you got it. Laugh about bad times? Yeah, why not? You can laugh and joke about past bad relationships, the good and bad. But why would you want to recall bad times?

Well, those bad times are what helps you grow as an individual. Just like every other negative experiences in our lives, those are the moments in which we build our character, become stronger people, and discover exactly what we want next.

Before moving forward with knowing exactly what we want after bad relationships, it is important to point out that one must actually take the time to step back, be single for a period of time, and literally reflect on the relationship. If one nose dives into a new relationship too soon, he/she will end up in the same cycle over and over, simply hoping for a better chance at finding love. This will not work because you will likely date the same type of individual, with the end result being no different. Let’s be honest: most people rush back into relationships because of the fear of being alone or were too accustomed to always having somebody there for them. Understandable. But, certainly not wise. The only person who will suffer will be you because you will just keep losing faith in the all powerful feeling of love. So take this as a note that when you do get out of a bad relationship, take some time to be by yourself because it will benefit you greater than you think.

So, going back to discovering exactly what you want after a bad relationship is over. How does one discover this? Well, just taking the time to reflect and analyze what exactly happened. What were the characteristics of the other individual that you did not like? What did you two fight about the most? Were there certain traits of the other individual that may be “fun” in the moment but makes no sense to build a long-term relationship with? Did your goals align with one another? These are just a few examples of the types of questions you should ask yourself. Whatever your answers are and the more you ask yourself, the clearer you will see exactly what you want to find in your next relationship.

You mature and grow because you learn what you want because you do not want to waste time. As an added bonus, thinking this way also helps you avoid negative thoughts or feelings about the past. The past is the past and one needs to always move forward. No ill feelings, just positive growth! However, it may take several relationships for you to discover exactly the type of person you want to find, but won’t it be so worthwhile?

Don’t let past relationships haunt you so much. It happened for a reason: to help you find true love. So the next time somebody asks you what happened in your last relationship, instead of responding with, “Ugh, I don’t even want to talk about it”, answer with “It just didn’t work out but I learned tons from it and I know better what to look for in my next relationship.” Sounds better, and also puts you on the path towards the right direction.

So, cheers to bad past relationships! Thank you for helping us grow and moving us closer to finding true love!

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Creating Work-Life Balance

Mon, 24 Jan 2011 10:25:07 -0500

By Diane Lang

1. Career Vs. Job- do what you love. Imagine you have a job where you work as least 40 hours a week then add an hour commute each way, that’s a lot of time to spend doing something you don’t like. If your parent then you have 2 jobs. Parenting is a 24 hours, 7 days a week, no holidays or vacation time job. So, you better like your job outside of the home or it will make a very stressful, unbalanced and unhappy life.

The happiest/balanced people will tell you they have a Career. They enjoy going to work because it’s their passion. The first step you need to take to create a balanced life is find out your passions/strengths. Take a personality test if you need to and ask yourself some questions.
1. When you were a child what did you love to do?
2. If money wasn’t an option what would you love to do?
3. What causes flow? Flow is when time stands still, when your so involved in your activity that you don’t even notice what is going on around you?

2. Personal/Professional growth - to remain balanced we need a mix of both professional and personal development. The happiest people are always growing and learning in both areas of their lives. If we stop growing both professionally and personally we becomes stale and stagnate which can lead to depression..

3. Are your basic needs met? You won’t find any balance if your not taking care of yourself. This involves taking care of your basics such as: sleep, eating healthy, exercise, etc.

The other part is self- care - we usually feel unbalanced because we give a 100% to our work and then a 100% at home to our family but what about ourselves.
For me, self-care is a necessity, I schedule in “Me” time. I schedule in daily activities that will be two fold. I will be putting myself first and also doing things that cause happiness.

This includes: Gratitude checks (morning and night), exercise, reading, etc.
Write a list of activities that you love to do that involve your strengths/passions. Then in your daily calendar schedule yourself in. What keeps me motivated to add self-care is my child. A positive parenting tip - kids are visual learners. Telling my daughter she needs to take care of herself is one thing but showing her is even better. When my daughter see’s me exercising, reading a book, going out with friends, etc. I’m showing her respect for one self and how to be happy.

4. Visualize what your balanced life would look like? I have clients come to me and say that their lives are unbalanced. When I say what would make your life better and more balanced, they aren’t sure. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the feelings of being overwhelmed, stressed out and tired that we forget to focus on what we want. What kind of life do you want? Do you need more vacation time? Time with your family? A different job? You can’t make changes till you know what they are.

5. Control - most of us spend a lot of time on what we CAN’T control and all that does is take up a lot time and negative energy. We can’t control anyone but ourselves. Write a list of everything you can and can’t control. The list with everything you CAN’T control, rip up. If you can’t control it, let it go. Take the list of everything you can control and ask yourself this question: What can I do about it now? What changes can I make?

6. A lot of times we feel unbalanced but really we aren’t happy in our lives. So, take some time to be honest with yourself. What are you feeling? I have seen clients pre-occupy themselves with a lot of “Stuff” that they felt unbalanced and overwhelmed but after a lot of thinking they realized they were filled up with “filled” activities. They would keep busy but it wasn’t anything important. They were avoiding their real feelings.

7. Realistic - be realistic I haven’t meet anyone who has a perfectly balanced, happy life. We will have bad days, days we are rushing and feel stressed out. When this happen remember, it’s only TEMPORARY. We won’t feel this forever. Odds are you will be over in a few hours. It’s ok to feel stressed out sometimes. There is also good stress. Good stress motivates you to move forward and be the best you can be. So, don’t always be turned off by stress.

For more information please visit my website: www.dlcounseling.com or e-mail Diane at Lifeline36@aol.com

Forgiving & Forgetting Will Give You Liberation

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 14:35:44 -0500

In our lives, we have all experienced betrayal. This is inevitable. Unfortunate, but true. However, how you handle the betrayal is what determines your character, as well as your future. Here’s a scenario:

Your friend does something that you take as a betrayal. It involves a third party as well. Now you refuse to be friends with either of them. Fine, no problem…right? Well, sort of. It just becomes a problem when you randomly encounter them and you have the awkward feeling of trying to avoid them. Then years go by and while you do not care for the situation anymore, you see them walking towards you. Yikes, change direction and hope they did not see you!

It looks like we have a grudge on our hands, and perhaps in your position, it was rightfully so. Nonetheless, a grudge is still an over-bearing burden on your shoulders whether in the present, or in the future when you have “forgotten about it.” In the present state of betrayal, it becomes an all-consuming thought in which you play out different scenarios in your mind, questioning their intentions, wondering how you never saw the signs, etc. In the future state of betrayal when you have “forgotten” about the situation, while there is no more anger, the grudge towards them will force you to still avoid them.

That sure does not sound like fun. It’s practically living a life with a giant boulder on your shoulders. The more grudges you have, the more boulders you will have have to juggle. It is bound to get heavy at some point! So, while many will say the easier way out of these situations is to avoid the individuals involved all together, I believe the exact opposite is actually true. Your easiest, and by far the best way, out of grudge situations is by confronting it directly. Confrontation in a manner that does not escalate situations negatively, but still works in your favor.

If you have been wronged and you were truly hurt from it, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Sure, perhaps it was somebody very close to you that hurt you, but don’t we all make mistakes? Are we all not guilty of making a big mistake at one point or another in our lives? Rather than holding a grudge against this individual, forgive and forget what he/she has done to you. As fast as you can. The sooner you do, the quicker the boulder will be off your shoulders. You may ask, “Why in the world would I forgive somebody who has wronged me?” Well, quite simply put: for your own well-being. Be the bigger person.

What is put forth above is the ultimate and true test of self-discipline and character. You have been hurt, yet instead of letting anger, sadness, or any negative feelings overwhelm your actions, you learn to put those feelings aside and move forward and learn from this situation. You have been hurt, but realize that by controlling your next and immediate actions in these unfortunate situations will help you grow as an individual ten-folds faster than realizing that you can forgive somebody a few years down the road.

This is not an easy task to do. It may sound absolutely outrageous and impossible to some. To others, it will click how much sense this actually makes. It makes sense because when you have been betrayed and you are able to prevent holding grudges, as well as being able to forgive the individual almost immediately, there is a great sense of liberation and pride in who you are. You get to avoid awkwardness. You get to move forward with your life knowing that you will not waste efforts in the wrong places. You have received the gift of greater wisdom. Your shoulders will not feel heavy, yet, in fact you will actually feel lighter because you will feel so proud of your discipline and growth.

You win.

If you are able to commit to this, life will look completely different, and in the most positive way. Once you have accomplished this once, it will be easier any time it may happen again. Pass it along once you have realized this way of life to anyone you care about! Help them feel liberated as well :)

Second Chances: We Can Help Those In Need Succeed

Mon, 10 Jan 2011 10:01:00 -0500

::in a deep announcer voice:: Well, hello and good morning to all the readers of alan-kong.com! I’ve been given a second chance at life and am fully embracing it. Will you do the same when your second chance comes?

Second chances in life do not come by easily, especially if you really mess up your first chance. Those individuals who fall to drugs and crime who wind up in prison or homeless especially have it tough in trying to get a second chance. What are the odds of a convict or homeless individual finding a decent job and living fairly? Pretty slim to none. So rare that those who actually do beat the odds will probably get glorified into a Hollywood movie!

So here we have Ted Williams, the man with the Golden Voice (I wonder if he’s going to get that trademarked). Remarkable and truly touching story. Ted Williams, due to drugs, lost everything that he had and became homeless. So in order to earn money, he would use his gift of voice to impress anyone he encountered, with the hope that he’ll bump into the right person. Well, it surely didn’t have to be a big shot media executive because with the power of social media, all it takes is an ordinary folk to make a story such as this go viral. Ted Williams was given his second chance and with the use of his Golden Voice, he’s got a golden opportunity in front of him. Kudos and congratulations to him on his persistence and opportunity to embrace his second chance at life.

While the news stories online primarily concentrate on Ted Williams, it is equally important to give some recognition for the videographer who went out of his way to truly help make this go viral. Before the original youtube video was taken down (because big media companies believed they had the rights after he appeared on their shows), the youtube user really had motivating words for the viewers of the video. He stated that he saw this man with a talent, the ability to admit his past mistakes, and the persistence to have a second chance. He pleaded with the viewers of the video to make the video go viral so Ted Williams may lead a different lifestyle. Well, his hard work truly paid off as there were millions of hits on the video overnight. Once Ted started obtain his job offers, the youtube user ended with a statement similar to the following: If you see anybody that truly deserves a second chance, try to be that individual to help them. Don’t be scared or hesitant, just do, and hope for the best for that individual’s second chance.

Pretty remarkable. A stranger going out of his way to help another complete stranger. How often does that even happen nowadays? Not as often as it should. The youtube user practically gave Ted Williams life again. That sounds like one of the best rewards in life. Emerson stated it best:

“To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded.”

Helping others through rough patches in their lives in one of the most rewarding aspects of living. It can become hard and frustrating for the helper during the process, but imagine the individual living it. When the needed perseveres and you have helped play a part, whether it is acknowledged or not, you have played a significant role in making the individual a stronger person. And for that, yes, you have definitely succeeded in life.

Sometimes we get so caught up in the hectic and busy lives of our own that we forget to slow down and realize that life is not about just living our own, but to enlighten and brighten those of others, whether it be friends, family, or strangers. We all try to find happiness in our lives, but many times we fall short. We are just “okay” or “content”. The reason is because you are trying too hard to make yourself happy. Do good for anyone you encounter, whether a smaller feat such as donating your time to a charity or an incredible one like transforming a homeless person’s life, and there is a guarantee that you will find yourself happier.

There will be times when you may put forth your effort in giving someone a second chance at life and it just does not work out. This is not to say that you have failed, rather you still have succeeded in that you have that good and desire in you. Realize this, remain persistent, and keep putting forth the effort! Together, we have some smiles to put on faces and happiness to fill into the lives of others!

Keep On Keepin' On

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 19:40:00 -0500

By: Joseph Kolodziej

Tell me if you’ve been here: You open your eyes and you have just gained consciousness after a frustratingly up-and-down night of sleep and before you even realize that you have the chance to embark upon a brand new day, you think to yourself, ‘here we go again, another day to deal with.’ Has this been you? It’s certainly been me more than I care to admit. Before most days truly began we are in the mode of burying them in agony and doubt—before anything new even happens!

And why? Momentum. Any type of behavior that repeats in both thought and action tends to build up a force of momentum with it and with that momentum gains its’ own kind of velocity and power. It happens in both good and bad areas in life. We may have a great deal of experience with negative momentum, assuming the role of victim—but we’re in desperate want of change. But how do we do it? We first make a committment. For example, by deciding to spend the time and thought to write this article, I am giving myself a worthy commitment and a responsibility; we can all use goals, commitments and responsibilities to create more of what we want in life. These types of things create momentum shifts in our lives. Simply, here’s how it breaks down:

1. We make a goal to function better and improve our lives
2. We make commitments that foster that functioning and get the ball rolling.
3. We develop responsibilities through those commitments and the process naturally repeats itself in a repetitive cycle.

Fundamentally, here’s how we can approach day one with our new goal of self-improvement:

When we first embark on this new mode, from the very moment we awake in the morning, we decide from our first thought that we want something to be different: to be precise, we create a force of thought that triggers momentum in a new and precise direction. The direction of that thinking creates another step in the form of a question: ’If we want something different, something new, and something precise—what are I we going to do about it? Are we going to carry that momentum of thought into action and pair it with a goal. We say to ourselves, ‘If we want to do this, we will do this, and we will accomplish this because now we understand how to do so’ and so on.

This same principle, though often cloaked in disguise is what keeps us shackled when we roam about our daily lives not understanding why nothing is changing. We then can get stuck in powerful negative ruts, standing in one spot, because the momentum of habitually thinking the same way over, and over again creates the same patterns of action over, and over again and this is the velocity of negativity, it picks up speed through our force and uses momentum and repetition for it’s power. It’s a lonely place to be no doubt, but once we know how to flip this pattern around and use these forces to help us develop the new habits we want, we I realize we don’t have to stay shackled and the keys to the chains are given to us. We create courage from eventually learning that change in our thoughts create change in our actions, and learn also that our changes in action eventually lead us to accomplishing our goals and accomplishing my goals and the cycle naturally repeats itself for us.

In short, but with much practice and study, we use this model habitually and in time get better at knowing how to how ’keep on keepin on’ in the face of colossal challenges and obstacles. This is our greatest controllable variable and exponential weapon against the effects of negative volition. In closing, I’ll borrow a time-honored passage with a twist at the end and offer it to our collective memories: ‘May the force be with us and work for us—not against us.’

Be well. Act well. End well. Repeat.

In today’s society, it is unfortunate, but the music icons...

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 12:16:35 -0500

In today’s society, it is unfortunate, but the music icons of our generation do not exactly steer its fans in the right direction. Pop culture, in general, does not do any justice for society. However, there is one band that has always caught my attention with its lyrics and especially their videos. Moving. Powerful. Real. True. NEEDED.

That band is Nickelback. Whether you enjoy their music or not, there is no denying that there is a very powerful message in their songs. The above video and song is titled “If Today Was Your Last Day.” Even if you have heard or saw the video before, watch this incredible video again. Listen to the lyrics. Below are some of the best lines from the song. As you read through it, take a moment to absorb what the words are truly saying and question yourself whether you are living these true words:

“My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day’s a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind”

“Every second counts ‘cause there’s no second try
So live like you’ll never live it twice
Don’t take the free ride in your own life”

“You know it’s never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
‘Cause you can’t rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin’ stand in your way”

Are you living your life as if it is a gift? Or are you really just taking a free ride? Are you living a life with purpose? More importantly, are you living in the present?

No matter where one is in his/her life, you must remember to live in the present. Your past is history. Whether you’ve made good or bad decisions, it has defined who you are today. Learn from the good AND bad, accept what is the past, and bring yourself to the present day. Before we reflect on the importance of living in the present day, a quick point about the future. Of course it is very important to plan for the future, that is a given. We all set out goals and objectives we want to achieve in our lives. However, in doing so, we tend to put off our current happiness as we seek future happiness.

“I will be happier if I earn the higher salary in a few years at my company”

“I won’t be satisfied with my life until I own my own business”

You get the point. We plan so much for our future, that we postpone our current happiness. How does that make any sense? Because you think you will be happier when you achieve your future objectives? What makes you so sure? Reality check, you are not sure at all. When you achieve your objectives, you will have set out new ones within that time frame and now you are going to postpone your happiness some more.

Live in the present. Learn to slow things down and appreciate the absolute beauty of life that surrounds you on a daily basis. When was the last time you went for a walk and simply smiled at how beautiful nature really is? Have you taken the time to really appreciate the laughter and good times with your friends and family? Or have you always thought about “business” during your leisure times? If your mind is not completely there, then you’re not living in the present. You need to take the opportunity to truly feel the gift that has been given to you. As the song says, each day is a gift, not a given right. You appreciate gifts. You express gratitude for gifts. Have you done so for your life?

It is said that when people know they have a limited time to live, they do not regret the things they have done, but rather, they regret the things they did not have the opportunity to do. If you live in the present and live each day as if it is your last, then you will achieve what we all sought for: happiness. Cliche? Sure, but that does not mean cliches are not true. There’s a reason cliche sayings have been around for a long time: it stands the test of time because of the truth to its words.

Embrace your present life. Live each day as if its your last. Unwrap your daily gift of life each morning with a smile on your face!

Note for the readers: No entries will be posted until 12/20/2010 as I will be on vacation with friends, living and enjoying every present moment with them! Thanks for your continued support!

Quit Acting Like A Zombie!

Wed, 01 Dec 2010 12:08:02 -0500

You are bored out of your mind, but you may not even know it.

It is time to break out of the monotony of living a zombie life. What is a zombie life? Well, you live life doing the same routine over and over, just like how zombies walk around aimlessly over and over. It is boring. It does not stimulate your mind, body, or soul. Routine is comfortable, but is not the most fun. So spicy up your life a little you zombie, a living thing just crossed your path!

All those times in which you have said, “I definitely want to try this at some point in my life” and you have never done it, take the time to actually do it. We all lead very busy lives, but we owe it to ourselves to stimulate our routine lives a little with something fun, new, and exciting. Find the time to actually get around to the planning aspect of discovering something new. Some planning will be quick, others will take some time, but nonetheless it will all be worth it.

The more you break out of your zombie routine, the more you will realize how much life actually has to offer. Sure, you already know what is out there, but you do not fully appreciate the magnitude of life’s offerings until you actually experience it. These great appreciations come out of feelings of liberation from your normal life and a sense of accomplishment that you have finally checked that off your list. It is a state of mind that cannot be replaced by your “normal” life. Remember and cherish this feeling. Then, become addicted to it.

Keep on checking off those experiences that you’ve always wanted to try. Make the time for it. You’ll quickly see and realize that your mind feels freer, you are not as stressed, and that actually trying out new experiences is one of the most important fruits of life.

Take that first step and try out a new experience.

Once you do so, congratulations, you have flunked out of Zombie University! You get to be alive again.