What the heck does that even mean? How do you save yourself by keeping your thoughts to yourself?
Let’s start off with some questions:
What is one of the first things you do when you get angry or annoyed at a situation? Do you call or text your friends to vent? Do you get your closest friends together and update them all at once?
What happens then? Of course since they’re your closest friends, they’re more likely than not going to back you up and tell you that you’re right. You feel good after venting, but now whenever there’s an update, the subject is brought up again. What comes with it is just more negative feelings resurfacing constantly. Now your thoughts are easily distracted and consumed with this negativity.
Is this not true? When we’re in a crummy part of our life, all we do is vent about it. It’s all we want to do. We do it because we like the support that comes with it.
For example, when you hate your job and you’re absolutely miserable waking up to it every day, your friends and family all know it because it’s plastered all over - from your conversations to your social status updates. It consumes your thoughts and guess what? It only makes your days worse.
The situation can be anything: trouble with friends, a bumpy relationship, etc. When you present your current negative points of life to the masses, you might actually get more bad than good. You may get temporary support when you vent, but man oh man do your days stink because it’s all you think about. It makes your days worse because even when you’re finally not thinking about it, you’ve told so many people that the topic will be brought up again. Boom, there comes negativity knocking on your door once again.
This is why I’m a big advocate of keeping the hardships of life to oneself. It is okay to vent once in a while, but when you’re constantly venting, well, you’re actually just complaining all the time. When you do this to yourself, you’re going to drive your mind insane. You won’t be able to take your mind off it and it’ll consume your day. Let me rephrase: negative thoughts will consume your day. That is certainly no way to live out our lives.
It is very difficult to keep our own situations to ourselves, I understand. It’s on your mind so you can help but just blurt it out. But in doing so, you’re not doing yourself any justice because you’re escalating the situation worse…for yourself. Our minds have a way of making the SAME situation even worse, just by thinking too much about it. We start to over-analyze and create scenarios in our minds. We ask “how come” and “what if” questions. It ruins our moods. It ruins our days. Why let it?
So by learning to keep complaints to yourself, you learn incredible self-control on how to handle your mind and thoughts. You learn that no matter how much you may vent to others and think it’ll make you feel better, you actually may not because ultimately, it’s up to yourself and the way you think about it to feel better.
So give it a try. Whatever your situation is, from hating your job to relationship problems, try to keep it to yourself and learn to work through it within yourself. You’ll only come out stronger. Then you’ll quickly start to realize what actions you should take to get out of your negative situation, but that’s a whole topic on its own :)