Guy A has his opinion about a subject matter. Guy B has a completely different opinion about the same subject matter. Both have their reasons as to why they are right. Their debate turns into an argument, unnecessarily for that matter. Even if one of the individuals makes a valid point, the other has too much pride to admit it. There will be no winner in this argument. Just frustration, annoyance, and hurt feelings. There is no productivity to this “conversation” at all. To make matters worse, Guy A or B can turn to Guy C who is sitting near them and ask, “Hey, what do you think? Who is right?” Now they’ve entered a third party that feels awkward to even be a part of it. Nobody wins.
Throughout our lives, we’ve played the role of Guy A, B, and C at least once. Try to recall those times and remember how frustrating they were. Perhaps you may have even lost a friendship due to it. In hindsight, you realize how pointless those types of arguments are. There will never be a winner as both individuals are too opinionated. So why waste your time?
You shouldn’t. One must realize that it is an extremely difficult and daunting task to try to persuade another person to change his/her opinions. This task is exponentially harder when you’ve already begun to attack their opinions. So instead of wasting your time, if you can foreshadow ahead of time that the coming debate will lead nowhere, why don’t you be the bigger person by getting over your pride and ego to be right. This isn’t an easy task, but it certainly is an important one to prevent you from hurting feelings or relationships. Practice biting your tongue and perhaps just listening to what the individual has to say. You may actually learn a thing or two if your mind wasn’t so concentrated on winning the debate.
If you absolutely cannot stand what the individual is saying anymore and find that you’re about to inevitably pour out your opinions, realize that you have yet another alternative. Just exit the conversation. Politely excuse yourself from the conversation, whether it’s finding an individual passing by that you know to say hello to or “realizing” that you forgot to make an important phone call. By being polite about it, you’ve saved yourself from listening to something you didn’t want to and potentially hurting a relationship.
With those alternatives, there will actually be a winner. You.
You win because you’ve avoided hurting a relationship, wasting time on a meaningless conversation, and have practiced personal restraint on powerful emotions: pride and ego.
Pick and choose your debates. If you feel you can actually have a productive one, then definitely feel free to throw your opinions out there. But if it’s not, then choose to come out being a winner by avoiding it altogether.
