Be The Change You Wish To See In The World

By: Diane Lang

All you hear about is the recession. Every time you turn on the news, you hear bad news. Unemployment is at its highest in years, too many foreclosures to count, Wall Street doing horribly. It’s hard to keep your head above water financially and your mood positive during these times. But there is one sure way to help both your mood and others- Volunteer.

During these tough financial times we are seeing a rise in volunteering. If you have thought about volunteering before but just never had the chance, now is the time. Here are some great reasons why volunteering works to boost your mind, spirit and the economy.  

1. It helps us feel good emotionally. It raises our spirits when we help others. Altruism is proven to be one of the factors that makes us happier. The more we help others the better we feel. It’s a win-win situation. The more optimistic we are the longer we live. There are so many benefits for us emotionally and mentally when we help others.  

2. It gives us a sense of purpose. Someone needs you. I have interviewed many individuals who are going through “empty nest” and volunteering helped them through the process.  

3. Resume Booster - if you are unemployed due to the economy or you are deciding to go back to work after having kids, volunteering works. You can always put volunteer work on your resume. Try to volunteer at an organization that will allow you to do the type of work you eventually want to get paid for. It will help freshen up your skills.  

4. Networking - Volunteering will help you meet people. I have seen many individuals who started volunteering just to meet new people. If you are moving to a new state, it’s a way to meet others. It’s also great way to network if you are looking for a job. I have been told by many individuals that their volunteer jobs have turn into permanent full time paid positions.  

5. Role Model - what a great way to be a good role model for those around you. They will see how important it is to help others, to have a sense of community and how good it makes you and others feel. Get everyone you know involved. Everyone can learn to respect others while gaining a good sense of self. Volunteering also teaches empathy skills, kindness, caring, warmth and respect for others. Volunteering with your friends and family is a good way to spend quality time together while helping others.

For more information on Diane’s new book or schedule of workshops, visit www.dlcounseling.com. If you have any questions, please contact Diane directly at: Lifeline36@aol.com.

Note from Alan Kong:
What Diane stated above are very true words. Far too often, I have spoken to individuals who realized that they would have loved to start volunteering at an earlier age, but “something always got in the way.” It’s true, when one becomes an adult, life throws tons of errands and responsibilities your way, but we all still have a responsibility to give back to the world, especially to those who aren’t as lucky as we are. The most inspiring acts of volunteer are when I meet those who are not so fortunate in their lives, but are still willing to put forth effort to those who are fortunate and unfortunate. Truly incredible human beings. Diane states that when volunteering, encourage those around you to join you in the efforts. It builds stronger relationships because of a natural bond for helping others. My close friend Rose organized a group of our friends to volunteer at the Bowery Mission in NYC this past weekend and it was an incredible experience. Hectic, but hilarious. Busy, yet exciting. Inspiring and truly humbling. I encourage you all to reach out to Bowery Missions and ask how you can lend a helping hand to their organization:

Bowery Missions

www.bowery.org

And of course to continue your efforts in encouraging and helping out the rising non-profit organization of the Supply Education Group. Truly magnificent accomplishments have been achieved thus far by the organization and its followers! Please feel free to reach out to joong.jung.lee@gmail.com (Shawn Lee) for further details or contact the organization through the website: http://thesupply.org.

Thanks everyone for anything you have given back to the world already. Whether you have actually heard it or not, those who have encountered you are highly grateful for it.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone and enjoy the time with your family and friends!

“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” - Vincent Van Gogh

How often can we say that we had the courage to attempt a big feat? One that required a tremendous amount of courage. More likely than not, majority of us can’t recall many times in our lives when we have demonstrated this. Often, we fall too deep into our comfort zone. It does not take much effort to stay there. Your days become robotic and everything becomes a routine. But, what ever happened to all those dreams and goals in life you have always wanted to achieve? Why are your personal dreams and goals taking the backseat to your life? Does that even make sense?

It surely does not! We have all had dreams in which we envisioned ourselves feeling on top of the world and happy as can be. But then “reality” sets in and life’s decisions take you on a different course. Suddenly, you convince yourself that you have a different dream in life just because you are pigeon holed into what you have already started. You set goals based on what you have already started, whether you actually like it or not. With one life to live, is that truly the best way to live? Heck no!

How accomplished do you think you will feel if you achieved a big goal that wasn’t your dream, but just simply “part of the path.” You would feel great, for a short period of time. Now, how incredible would you truly feel if you achieved a big goal that was and is your dream. Remember that top of the world feeling you have always envisioned for yourself? There it is.

So no matter how old you are, today is a great day to develop some courage to take that first step towards achieving your dreams. Realistically, some of you will have truly dire responsibilities that will temporarily hinder you from doing so. Understandable. But for the rest of the group, stop making up excuses. You can make a temporary excuse to not achieve your dreams, but it should never be a permanent excuse. It’s your dream. Nobody else will complete it for you.

Life is about having the courage to attempt incredible feats. To test the limits of your own potential. Here is news for you: there are no limits to your potential. No limits. Ultimately, you decide what your limitations are and if you truly believe you can achieve anything, you surely can. Those who have had the courage to do anything they want in life will surely tell you the same.

Let courage lead your life. It’s time to roar.

By Diane Lang

We can’t be successful without taking a jump- a leap of faith within ourselves.

Well, recently I learned the hard way that jumping doesn’t always lead to instant success but what it does lead to is a sense of accomplishment for trying. A sense of strength knowing fear didn’t stop you and the knowledge that we are all human and as many times as we jump is as many times there is a chance that you might fail and/or make a mistake. The funny part is through this whole jump experience, I have learned there is a lot of good in making a mistake. I want to share the positives of making a mistake. I hope this helps next time you decide to take a leap of faith and have a 50/50 chance of making a mistake.  

1. Let’s start with the typical one we always hear - we learn from our mistakes. An old one but a goodie. The happiest people are always learning.  

2. Mistakes make us aware that we are not perfect. Once we realize we are only human, we can let of our perfectionism ideas and let the pressure melt away. We don’t have to set ourselves up for failure by expecting perfection or wanting to be perfect all the time. We can actually go enjoy ourselves knowing we aren’t perfect. 

3. Mistakes means we are taking risks. People who take risks are generally happy people. They take risks, they are creative. They don’t grow stale and/or stagnate. Instead, they take risks and enjoy the chances they are taking.
With mistakes, realize it’s about the journey to complete something not just about the outcome.  

4. We develop a sense of accomplishment - mistakes give us a sense of pride. We tried, we didn’t procrastinate or let fear run our lives. Instead, we went for it. With taking risks comes a sense of pride & accomplishment.  

5. Mistakes aren’t the end of the world. They only make us stronger. Making mistakes and trying again teaches us perseverance.  

6. Mistakes are a motivator. They make us work harder.  

So, go out and make a mistake…I dare you!  

WORKSHOPS:  

Monday, Nov 15, 7pm - Create Balance & relieve anxiety- Ramsey community school 201-327-2025  

Tuesday, Nov 16, 7pm - Happiness- living an optimistic lifestyle -Parsippany Community school 973-263-7180 ext 3015  

Wednesday, Nov 17, 7pm - What kind of smart are you? - PT Washington, Long Island 516-767-5470  

Tuesday, Nov 23, 7pm - Letting go of anger, Parsippany Community school 973-263-7180 ext 3015  

Sunday, Nov 28 - Free Webinar on Stress management - 7pm  

Monday Nov 29, 6pm - Baby steps the path from motherhood to career - Burlington Community College 609-877-4520 ext 3015  

For more information visit Diane’s website: www.dlcounseling.com or contact Diane at: Lifeline36@aol.com

Everybody knows that teamwork is one of the major foundations to success. One can only reach so far on his/her own. The beauty of teamwork is that a goal can be reached faster, more efficiently, and the skill sets of each team member can be fully utilized. However, one must also realize that in choosing team members, there has to be a naturally similar desired goal in mind. A team can literally hit the ground running from the start if everybody is trying to achieve the same goal.

On the other hand, if you choose a team member that needs to be convinced of the desired goal, that already creates difficulty from the start. If the team member’s beliefs do not align with those of the goal, you may or may not have chosen the right team member. One must always remember that the key to achieving a goal collectively is to ensure that you have chosen the right team members. A book titled “Good to Great” by Jim Collins summarizes this concept very well so please take the time to fully absorb what Jim is stating below:

“In fact, leaders of companies that go from good to great start not with “where” but with “who.” They start by getting the right people on the bus, the wrong people off the bus, and the right people in the right seats. And they stick with that discipline—first the people, then the direction—no matter how dire the circumstances.”

and…

“When it comes to getting started, good-to-great leaders understand three simple truths. First, if you begin with “who,” you can more easily adapt to a fast-changing world. If people get on your bus because of where they think it’s going, you’ll be in trouble when you get 10 miles down the road and discover that you need to change direction because the world has changed. But if people board the bus principally because of all the other great people on the bus, you’ll be much faster and smarter in responding to changing conditions. Second, if you have the right people on your bus, you don’t need to worry about motivating them. The right people are self-motivated: Nothing beats being part of a team that is expected to produce great results. And third, if you have the wrong people on the bus, nothing else matters. You may be headed in the right direction, but you still won’t achieve greatness. Great vision with mediocre people still produces mediocre results.”

Above are powerful words that will take you, your team, and your goals to levels that you have never imagined. Or perhaps a better way to say it: to levels you have always imagined.

The purpose of this teamwork post was to introduce my new partners in crime: Lauren Rains and Diane Lang. In speaking with these two amazing individuals, I discovered we all have the same philosophy in life: to share the power of positivity to create happier lives to those we come in contact with and to play our roles in making this world a better place. Lauren and Diane will both be featured writers on this website, so please take the time to get to know them on a more personal level and to support them as you have supported me so far! Just a quick bio about Lauren and Diane below:

Lauren Rains
www.TheMadtoLive.com

Hi, my name is Lauren Rains and I write The Mad to Live to inspire myself and others to figure out what it is they want in life, and then to go and get it. I started The Mad to Live in 2010 when everyone around me, including myself, seemed either stuck in a rut, bored to death, or lost in general.  This blog is about about how to live life each day with the Mad to Live Mentality – with unbridled enthusiasm, fervent excitement, and as an ongoing adventure. Alongside this blog, I’m also a world-travel addict, personal life coach, and blogging geek who loves nothing more than good life-talk conversations be it with close friends or interesting strangers. To contact me, whether to say hi, share a story, ask a question, or suggest ideas, just shoot me an email at Lauren@TheMadtoLive.com.

Diane Lang
www.dlcounseling.com

Therapist, Educator and Life Coach Diane Lang has dedicated her career to helping people turn their lives around and is now on a mission to help them develop a sustainable positive attitude that can actually turn one into an optimist, literally. A therapist and educator of Positive Psychology, she has seen that it can provide a strong foundation for finding great happiness and is gratified that it is becoming a mainstream method of treatment. Lang has an M.A. in Counseling and a B.A. in Liberal Arts from the New York Institute of Technology. Please visit her website for more information: www.dlcounseling.com or email Diane directly at: Lifeline36@aol.com.

Please feel free to reach out to Lauren, Diane, or myself to discover the amazing projects we will be building together! The next couple of articles will come from Lauren and Diane, so mark your calendar for their debut on this site!

Best of luck everyone and thanks for your continuing support :)

A friend is always there for you. A friend will also make you into a stronger person. In addition, a friend will also teach you a lot about yourself, the good and bad. Finally, a friend defines who you are.

Failure is your friend.

Replace “a friend” with “failure” in the above statements and you will quickly see that failure will always be around for you! But, it will not be your best friend because with the right mentality, your best friend will be success. Failure will just be that annoying friend that tags along.

In this final posting of the “Why Do People Fail” series, it will show you the realities of the pathway to trying to reach your goal, and how you can overcome that final hurdle to actually succeeding.

You have already learned that you must break your ultimate goal into smaller pieces to achieve mini-victories to keep yourself motivated. Great! However, sometimes your mini-victories will be short lived because you are guaranteed to hit obstacles along the way. If you hit only one failure on your way to achieving your goal, consider yourself lucky. The road will be bumpy at numerous points and during these moments, you will start to second guess your abilities and question whether you can actually achieve that goal or not. No matter how many times you “fail”, do not give up on yourself or your goals. If you allow yourself to give up, that is when you actually fail.  That is when the game is over and you have worked hard, but all for nothing.

Instead, use these moments that feel like failure to take a step back and tweak your plans in achieving your goal. What happened? What can you change to get back on track? Evaluate the situation, every aspect of it. Analyze it and determine what you will do to correct it. Self-reflect and realize what abilities of your own you need to strengthen in order to get closer to your goal. Never have doubts about your abilities; your abilities should only go up, never down. You can do absolutely anything you want to accomplish. You just have to allow failure to help you learn more about yourself. Do not let failure have the opposite effect. Learn from failure! If you do this, you will overcome failure no matter how many times it occurs, and it will guide you right towards the path of success. That is a guarantee!

It is said that most people fail literally right at the brink of success. People are one step away from achieving their goal. One too many failures for man to handle. Break through every single failure until you hit success. You will not know how many failures there will be along the way, but it will feel so sweet when you finally get there.

Quick example: Thomas Edison failed 20,000 times before finally successfully inventing the light bulb. That’s a lot of failures. Remember that to get yourself out of the dark and moving towards that shining goal of yours.

Be tenacious about your goals. Remain persistent along the road. Remember to keep learning. Reflect frequently. And finally, bask in the glory of achieving your goals!

In the previous post, it was discussed how one can avoid failing before ever even starting. Failure from the beginning. However, this is probably the easiest hurdle in trying to overcome failure. It is easy to be motivated and inspired, in the beginning. Big plans, big dreams. It is relatively easy to get started. But, multiple failures are guaranteed to be ahead as you decide to embark on the journey in achieving your goals.

Why is it so easy to start inspired in the beginning? It is because you start with a big dream. You started with the end vision. While this is important, reality will bring you right back in showing you that there is no way you will ever reach that end vision without tons of hard work and dedication in trying to achieve that goal you want! There are multiple points during this journey in trying to achieve your goal that you will inevitably meet your friend, failure.

Your first encounter with failure will fall close to the beginning. You were super inspired by your idea, but then you start researching the different aspects of the idea and you realize, “Wow, there is a lot of information that I need to sort through. Where do I even start?” Well, you “started” the project now of researching how to reach your goal, and after you finish those few sessions, just the burdening thoughts of having to sort through all the data that you’ve collected scares you. You keep putting off the tedious task, and suddenly your goals are on the back burner. Failure has won this one, if you allow it. Do not allow failure to win! Remember, if you want to achieve your goal, failure is absolutely not an option.

Well then, what do you do? Well you sit there and perform the tedious task with positive thoughts and a big old smile on your face (not in a crazy person way). How can one perform any tedious task with positive thoughts? By setting small goals for each session you have to perform tedious tasks. This is a very important point to remember as you move towards achieving your goal: Set small goals along the journey in order to reach your end goal. Write down what you want to achieve and give it a time frame, do not just keep it in your head. By having it on paper, you will have a greater urgency to actually complete it. This is very important. When the time frame you have established is due, ensure that your task has actually been completed!

The reason why one needs to do this in order to stay on the road to achieving one’s ultimate goal is because when one achieves these mini-goals, these are small victories. These small victories will lead up to the end goal being realized. Failure will not win if you are able to achieve small victories along the way. You will feel accomplished every time you finish a task, new thoughts about your goal will flourish, and by breaking down the big goal into small pieces, the journey does not look so daunting after all.

Write up those small goals today. What is the point of waiting? One will just keep putting it off. Start today.

In Part 3, we will visit how failure is actually your friend, really!

An anonymous question was submitted asking, “Why do people fail?”

Well, people fail for many reasons. The biggest and absolute reason for failure is that people allow failure to be an option. If you firmly believe in your goals, then failure should never be an option!

People fail at different checkpoints in achieving their goals. Failure is always looming, but for any and all tasks you take on, you must realize that success does not come without failures. The first checkpoint of failure in achieving your goals is not attempting it at all.  The daunting thoughts of having a long and challenging journey ahead will turn away most people from the start. Thoughts race through your mind in which you “reason” with yourself as to why you should not even bother taking on achieving this goal you have set out. This “reasoning” is merely an excuse to not step up! It is essentially a form of laziness mixed with fear. These feelings are natural, and so is the reasoning, but how do you overcome this failure before even starting?

You plan! If you have a great idea in your mind, start writing it out on paper. You need to put it on a physical piece of paper. This will benefit you in so many ways. You would be surprised at how many ideas will come to you sporadically and you are suddenly writing non-stop. This is where you should derive your inspiration. Write all your ideas down for this goal, ones that you believe may or may not work. You would be amazed by how creative you actually are!

Once your ideas are down, don’t stop thinking about it. As you go about your day, be cognizant about what you can add to continue to inspire to achieve your goal. These all-consuming thoughts will keep you on your toes to becoming obsessed with wanting and needing to achieve the goal you have set out.

And finally, when you are ready, speak to individuals that will give a realistic impression to your goal. Do not speak with individuals who are negative or that you can already predict their responses that will put down your goal. Speak to individuals who are honest but also daring. Individuals who have a take on the world attitude. These individuals will help you assess how realistic and achievable your goals really are, as well as give you ideas that you didn’t think of. These individuals will also become your support group as you decide to embark on taking on this challenge towards your goal. This is crucial and much needed.

These are ways to fight failure in the beginning of trying to achieve a goal. Remember to find ways to stay inspired. Write your ideas towards achieving your goal on something concrete. Find a group that will support and continue to encourage.

You have defeated failure in the beginning, but that is just the start of the fight.

Your journey continues…in the next entry.

Best of luck :)

I ordered an item from www.the-house.com about a week ago. With my item came a great message from the company and I would like to share it with all of you:

Attitude

“In addition to friendship, attitude is one of the few things in life where we have a true choice. We cannot change what is fated to happen or the actions of events or other people.

What we can change is our reaction to such things with the attitude we adopt. In truth, our attitude can be more important than anything we do. It can make or break families, companies, and nations. It is more important than schooling, talent, looks, or wealth.

How we react is everything and our attitude is the choice we have; it is a choice we make every minute of every day. It is a state of mind that no one can take from us. If we are in control of our attitudes, we are in command of our lives. And that is the best way to live.”

These are very true words from www.the-house.com. The most powerful part is “If we are in control of our attitudes, we are in command of our lives.” What better way to live than to be in command of our own lives? It’s your life, shouldn’t you be in charge?

Many companies don’t have strong philosophies such as this so it was surprising to see with my package. However, it’s amazing and it looks like the company has gained a loyal customer! Whether it is in application to your personal life or if you are a business owner, always remember to follow the right philosophies in life. You will always thrive. You will end up and stay on top!

Best of luck everyone!

To judge people we don’t know, most would agree, is wrong. It’s mean and unnecessary. Unfortunately, it seems to be a characteristic that is developed as we grow older because society tries to force us to base people’s lives by their appearance. We certainly weren’t born with this innate characteristic. When we were children, we didn’t judge others. We were friends with whoever was around us. Anything or anyone that sparked our interest, we were there! But as we grow older, we believe in social groups and statuses so we begin to break away from that innocent child mentality.

However, we then obtained the unfortunate characteristic to judge others. This leads to the gateway to a close-minded life.

When we live a close-minded life, we don’t have the opportunity to fully live. One would live in a bubble in which most of the people one would encounter can automatically be classified into a compartment of one’s mind. Examples:

“He’s leaving a thrift shop, he must be poor.”

“She dropped out of college, she’s going nowhere in life.”

“He’s dressed like a gangster, he’s definitely a troublemaker.”

In some instances, you may be right about your assumptions. But, you will not know whether you’re right or wrong until you actually speak or get to know the person. Otherwise, you’re just judging them. For the above examples, any of the following could be a reason:

“He’s leaving a thrift shop because he is a good man who just donated a lot of clothing.”

“She dropped out of college because she has to take care of her ill mother. Family is first.”

“He may be dressed like a gangster, but that is just his style of choice. He is a community volunteer to help steer young children in the right direction in life.”

Any one of the above is easily a real life scenario. When you judge others, you haven’t given them a chance. Before you, yourself, are judged, wouldn’t you like to be given the opportunity to speak for yourself and show them who you really are? Well if you do, why won’t you allow others to do the same? Once we can pass the surface level of others, we realize how pleasant most of us actually are. One can easily recall the people who we may know now in which we judged them based on appearance, but later found out how great they actually are.

No need to actually say it, but this requires great discipline. It’ll take a great deal of effort to learn, or actually un-learn, to not judge others. It’s become a part of us thanks to the way society has raised us. Whether it’s a small or strong degree, let’s strive together to oppose what society has bestowed upon us. Together, we can learn to not judge one another, but to take that extra step to get to know others before we create an impression out of them.

You can make this happen. You can let others know how judging others leads to a close mind. The easiest way to conquer this is to proclaim it to those closest to you and have them believe in it as well. Together, you can keep each other accountable and make a difference in your own lives, as well as others, whether you’ve met them yet or not!

Good luck :)

It’s time to put an age old argument to rest. What enables one to become successful? Is it natural talent? Or is it hard diligent work?

Natural talent is great. If one is naturally smart, then the ability to learn and apply its principles is very useful. If one is naturally athletic, then the ability to learn sports and become a great player is easier. However, even if one is a natural at a given area, in order to actually become successful in it, it takes hard work.

That deserves to be repeated once again and to be emphasized: in order to become successful, it takes hard work!

From an outsider’s perspective, it’s easy to say and think that the most successful people in the world were born with the abilities to help get them there. This is only partially true. What these individuals did was take the time to learn and discover their natural talents. After this discovery period comes the hard part. The hard work. It takes tons of energy, persistence, diligence, and hard work to actually develop those talents. Michael Jordan didn’t become the best basketball player of all time by sitting on his couch watching TV. He put himself through vigorous personal boot camp to become the best! Same for Dwight Schrute above…

On the other hand, one can also discover talents through hard work. Are you highly dedicated to your projects? Are you able to influence others by merely speaking with them? Whatever it is one may do in his/her daily activities, be cognizant about what differentiates you from others. What are you good at that others quickly recognize? By you being a hard worker already, if you are aware of your strengths, then you can develop these strengths and transform it into a talent that you can use to become successful.

The majority of individuals have the ability to work hard, but use the excuse of not having the gift of natural abilities that successful people have. This excuse, and it is an excuse, is a personal barrier to success and must be overcome. It’s a mental game and you are causing yourself to lose. The saying that “You can achieve anything you set your mind to” is one of the truest statements of all time. You determine how successful you can and will be. Think the right way and unlock all the possibilities you have ever imagined.

If you’re a natural, then work hard to get to the next level. If you’re a hard worker, then keep working hard and learn to be aware of what talents you can develop. Hard work is the absolute key to success!