As with most aspects of our lives, it is easy to let the negatives of any situation overwhelm the positives. The negatives stick out the most in our minds and it is hard to let go of it. Once it settles in, the only way we feel like we could feel better is by just letting it all out. Purging your emotions and feelings unto others. However, by letting the negatives overshadow the positives, you’re setting yourself up in all the wrong ways, especially in romantic relationships.
The concentration of the positives versus the negatives, it seems, is highly prevalent in relationships. Isn’t it incredible how we could be in such great relationships, but once something bad happens, such as a huge argument or misunderstanding, we forget all the good times and concentrate on the negatives. We have a whirlwind of emotions and sometimes even doubt the future of the relationship. That is how powerful of an impact a negative emotion can have on us. It can consume us. But what if we were to do the exact opposite in relationships, and allow the positives to consume us? Then relationships, and the world for that matter, will look completely different.
When we’re in relationships, it is the positive qualities that has attracted us to the individual. It is what makes us think about them all day during the pursuit and early in the relationship. However, as the couple begins to get to know each other better, negatives start to arise. But there is a difference between actual negatives versus pseudo negatives. Actual negatives are characteristics such as unfaithfulness, constant lying, and demoralizing you. These are actual negatives and if you’re in those kind of relationships, do yourself a favor and find yourself somebody more worth your time and effort. You’ll be happier.
However, pseudo negatives are those in which start to show up simply because no two people ever operate the same. They’re not really negative characteristics, but just quirks of the individual. For example, take this scenario: a couple moves in together. The guy always leaves his sock hanging on the side of the laundry basket because he plans to wear it again the same day (it’s true, it may be gross but we’re just trying not waste more than a pair for the day! Ha!). The girl always gets agitated because it is gross or would like the socks IN the laundry basket, not hanging on it. It’s silly, but I’ve heard several couples talk about it. Is it surprising that couples can actually get into a fight over this? With a bad day, wrong timing, or long term build up, yeah sure, a fight can surely happen!
Can’t one just laugh about a person’s “negative”? Is it actually a negative, or a pseudo negative? We all have quirks. So do you. Learn the love and laugh about the quirks instead of seeing it as a bunch of negatives that you can’t “handle” in the long run. See the pseudo negative as a positive. How?
"My boyfriend keeps hanging his socks over the laundry basket, so gross…but kind of silly!"
"My girlfriend is the worst cook and I always have to pretend to like it. But she tries and I appreciate it!" (To my gf: that wasn’t directed towards you, I promise! Ha :P )
Lighten up. Pseudo negatives are quirks that make your man or woman special, unique and fun. Enjoy and remember the positives. Appreciate the “negatives”. Know the difference between actual and pseudo negatives. Life is too short and you should appreciate and enjoy all the goodness it has to offer! A lot of it comes from being in a loving relationship with the right mentality!
So cheers to the power of thinking positively in relationships. Enjoy your present moments together. In doing so, it makes it easier to build a future together.